Lord, I'm Ready Now

The Lord has been moving my heart lately to become involved in a church. The last four years of my life I have dedicated it completely to school and to being involved and invested there. 

In the last week, I have just felt led to become involved in ways that are completely outside my comfort zone. I stepped out in faith and joined a class called Financial Peace University where I am learning to budget my money and pay off my student loans in a way that is completely honoring to God. I also joined a house church for the first time this week where I get to live out community with the people around me. 

It's not the nature of the things themselves that are out of my comfort zone, it's the fact that I chose to do these things on my own, going without people I know. I felt the Lord leading me to do these things and to just step out in faith, trusting that He knows what He is doing and where He is leading me. 

I am learning more and more during this season what it means to have faith in the Lord, to have faith that He will provide, that He will comfort me, that He knows what's best for me. While this is difficult (because I am a control freak and I want to always be in charge of what I am doing with my life), I have had such peace about everything that has happened to me in the last four months. God has provided me with strength to endure every hardship, every triumph, every single, individual moment of my life. 

And you know what I am realizing, He ALWAYS provides those things for us. 

Tonight as I was driving home, I heard a new song by Plumb come on called Lord, I'm Ready Now (click here to listen). I just felt so incredibly moved by this song. I realized that because I've learned to trust Him and to put my faith in His plan for me, that now I'm ready to move forward with whatever He has for me! I thought this song was such a great way to express my desire to follow Him and my way of proclaiming that I'm ready now! 

Peaceful Assurance

So I haven't blogged for a while. And like always, life has been crazy. So, here's an update.

As you know, I recently graduated from college. With graduation, I had a plan all figured out for myself. I was going to graduate from college, take my CSETs (a 3-part teaching test) this summer (and pass them with flying colors, of course!), work to save up some money, and the student teach starting in the fall. And, if you know where this post is going, you know that my life did not happen according to my grand plan.

I got a job working in an office at Simpson, the university I just graduated from. I had already worked for three an a half years in this office in previous years, and the job truly was an answer to prayers! I absolutely adore the people in the office and I love working for them! So, that part of the plan went accordingly - I got a summer job and saved up some money.

The CSETs are what didn't go exactly according to my plan. I took each of the three sections, and passed the two difficult sections. It was the easy section that I didn't pass. So, I studied and retook the easy section a second time......and didn't pass. Only the second time I didn't pass was the time that counted the most. I failed the last section of the CSET only 7 days before I was supposed to start student teaching. And in order to student teach, I had to pass the test.

As you can see, this put me in a very tough position. My job was ending because my summer contract was up. I didn't pass the last section of the CSET, so now I couldn't student teach. And I was getting ready to start a semester and had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. If you know me, you know that I am a planner - I am always thinking of the future and what the next ten steps are to get exactly where I want to be. As you can imagine, this was a huge test of my faith.

Oddly enough, I felt very peaceful about not passing the test. In a way, I felt almost relieved. I am definitely disappointed that I am not able to student teach right now (especially since my best friend is student teaching and we were planning on doing it at the same time). But I know that I needed this semester to just learn to trust God on a whole new level.

Since I didn't pass my test, I decided I would start applying for some jobs. I applied for some part time jobs and some full time jobs at Simpson. In a single afternoon, I was told that I didn't get three of the four jobs I had applied to! Now that was tough! Each employer kept telling me that I had great potential but that other people had applied for the positions who had a lot of experience. Each time, they kept telling me to not be discouraged. I can honestly say that I tried my hardest to not be discouraged. But deep down, I really was.

I had been talking to a great friend of mine about the job situation. She works in Residence Life at the university and is getting ready to have a baby, so she is going to be out this semester on maternity leave. I told her how I had applied for these jobs and how I didn't get them. She consoled me, and then called me into her office. I went to talk to her and she offered me a job! Not only did she offer me a job, but a job doing something I love! Since she is out on maternity leave, she needed someone to fill in while she was out. Since I had worked in the Residence Life program as a student, I know the program really well, and she said I would be a perfect fit for the job! I was speechless in the moment. I remember the words coming out of my mouth "Well, can I think about it for a bit and get back to you?" while the thoughts raced through my brain Oh my gosh! I would LOVE that job! Why am I saying I need to think about it? What am I doing? I need to just take this job! So, I went home and thought about it for about 30 seconds and promptly texted her that this job was truly an answer to prayers and I would LOVE to take it!

Friday marked my first week on the job, and I LOVED it! It has been so amazing to work with such great people, connecting with on campus residents (who I've lived with in community for the past few years) and just building relationships!

The job is until December, which works out perfectly; I can retake my CSET this semester, and student teach in the spring.

All along, God gave me peace throughout the situation. He had a plan far greater than mine, and He knew the desires of my heart. He knew that I wasn't ready to be done working for Residence Life and that I wasn't ready to student teach right away. I had all the steps lined up "perfectly" according to my plan. But that was just it....it was my plan, not His. He gave me peace when I didn't pass my test. He gave me peace during the job hunt. He gave me peace when I was offered this position. He gave me a peaceful assurance every step of the way! I am so incredibly blessed and thankful for my Father who knows me better than I know myself, and who leads me down the path He has chosen for me!